Really?!

So here's how it all began (with even some personal details left in)... In order to get the cheapest deal on my 2011 CROSSMARK health insurance, I had to go get a standard physical before the end of the year. So I found a doctor and made the appointment for December 20th. Prior to the appointment, for the past couple weeks (I think it was a couple weeks but honestly didn't pay attention to the length of time) my bosoms had been EXTREMELY tender. More tender then they've ever been. I mentioned it to Peter and he joked that I was pregnant. I laughed at that but in the back of my mind wondered if he might be right only because they felt different then they ever had and it wasn't going away. Here's a little background... Peter and I stopped using any type of birth control probably about 2 years ago. Since we knew I had P.C.O.S. and that might cause some infertility problems, we decided to stop trying to prevent pregnancy and just let it happen if it could. Well, obviously that didn't work because I never got pregnant. So in October I did some research and found an OBGYN in Frisco (Dr. Suzette Boyd - She's AMAZING) that had good reviews online and also had experience working with infertility. We decided to finally get serious about getting pregnant because I was no longer a spring chicken and your odds of getting pregnant go down after you hit 30 especially with PCOS. So during my first visit with the doctor, I let her know about my background and she was immediately game to help us have a baby. I appreciated that she listened to me and my history and didn't take a stance of giving it some time and trying a multiple things before really getting serious. Instead, she did blood work to check everything out on me and a sonogram. (I was comforted that all the tests she ran confirmed that I DID have PCOS since I was originally diagnosed around 16 and no other doctor since then has bothered to reconfirm this but just took my word for it.) After everything came back, here was her game plan: go on glucophage (a diabetic medication that has been known to help treat symptoms of PCOS and in fact was a medication that my first OBGYN put me on when I was diagnosed) for 3 months to help the PCOS and then have another appointment in three months. At that point she would start me on Clomid (a fertility drug) and we would go down the official fertility treatment path. She basically said that the glucophage could possibly help us conceive but it was more like a "let's give this a short time frame to work and then we'll move on to the next step without waiting too long". I asked her about using ovulation kits etc and she said to not even bother with them because they weren't worth the stress I'd experience trying to time everything just perfectly. So basically I walked out of the appointment feeling like, in 3 months after we medicate this body a little bit, we'll start working on getting pregnant. So anyway, back to the story! So here I was at my physical and I knew that we technically weren't NOT trying to have a baby and I was experiencing one of the possibly early symptoms of being pregnant. However, I didn't have any of the other symptoms so I sort of dismissed the possibility. When the nurse asked for a urine sample, I casually asked if she did a pregnancy test with that sample and she said she could if I would like. Since I hadn't taken one at home (Peter and I joked about it and he felt like I was being silly and it was a waste to take one), I figured why not and asked her to run one. Well, my physical continued and they checked everything out. At one point though, I thought I was basically done except for a blood test and they had me waiting FOREVER. I couldn't imagine what was taking so long. So then, the doctor walks in with a gift bag. My first thought was, "How nice! They must give a little something to all their new patients as a welcoming sort of thing." She then proceeded to tell me that the gift was something they give to expectant mothers. WHAT!?!?! My hand flew to my mouth and I stared dumbfounded. "NOOOOOO" I said... "Yes" she said. "NOOOOOO" I said... "Yes, you are pregnant" she said. So I totally tear up and I'm like "I can't believe it. I thought it was going to be harder than this." So I'm boobing as I tell them briefly my story and how I thought we were going to have to go through infertility treatments and the doctor and the nurse are tearing up. It was a crazy, surreal and special moment. After that, my brain was GONE. I pulled out of the parking lot and running through my head is "I can't believe I'm pregnant. I can't believe I'm pregnant." I wanted to tell Peter immediately but instead since it was only 5 days until Christmas, I decided to wait for 5 days and tell him on Christmas as the best Christmas present EVER. So I get lunch and go back to work. I said nothing to anyone at work but of course really wanted to. After work, I left a little early and went shopping. I wanted to find the perfect baby something to wrap up and give to Peter as a present and a way to break the news to him. I went to a baby clothing store and found nothing that would be gender neutral that I liked. Then I went to Target and again no clothing that hit the spot. So I decided to get a binky. (And since I was still so incredulous, I got a pregnancy test as well.) When I got home, I kept the secret from Peter and even teased him a little bit. We were talking about Christmas presents and what he wanted for Christmas. He jokingly said "If you give me a baby for Christmas, that's all you have to give me." I about died when he said that because I knew that I was going to be able to give him that for Christmas! I did get a couple other things for him as well though because I'm a good wife like that. I called my doctor to make my first prenatal visit and they just switched my original visit that was going to be about starting Clomid to my first prenatal visit. It worked out perfectly! Here's a picture of the pregnancy tests. The smaller one is from the doctor's office (2 lines means it's positive). The second one is the one I bought at Target to reconfirm the result. Here's a picture of the gift bag from the doctor's office (that I had to smuggle into the house and then immediately hide when I got home so Peter wouldn't see it). It's a bunch of baby stuff like wash, lotion, shampoo, teething ring, wipes, etc.

And here are the binkies that I bought to give Peter on Christmas day. I know they have a blue center but I figured since the bigger part of them was clear that it was pretty gender neutral.

So remember how I said earlier that I didn't have any other early pregnancy signs? I remember sitting in the doctor's office after they broke the news thinking about how great I felt and that I was so lucky since I only had tender bosoms to deal with. Well, literally within a day the morning sickness kicked in. (I wonder if I had found out like a month later I was pregnant if the morning sickness still would have started the next day.) It was horrible. All of a sudden I felt awful but was trying to hide it from Peter.

The day before we left for our trip to Vegas, Peter wanted to go out to dinner and we went to the Cheesecake Factory. I felt so bad that when I looked at their huge menu, all that looked good to me was edamame and fresh strawberries. When I mentioned to Peter that was what I wanted to order, he teased me again about being pregnant and having crazy cravings. CRAP! So in order to throw him off, I got my regular pasta dish and suffered through a little bit of it. I gotta say, those 5 days between learning I was pregnant and then telling Peter about it was torture! I was trying to seem as normal to Peter as possible all the while I felt so sick on the plane...sick during the night...etc etc etc. I bought a bunch of different types of crackers to try and calm my stomach and passed them off to Peter as just snacks for when we were traveling.

And that is how it all began!

P.S. I'm super irritated with Blogger. I have tried multiple times to fix the first part of this post so that there are paragraph breaks and each time I publish it, the breaks go away. ARGH! Sorry!