Back to work...

When we got back from Vegas I had one more day at home before I had to go back into the office.  :(  I worked from home though and started the big task of going through all those emails that had piled up.

Maxwell is really into play-do lately.  He will play for a long time and would play multiple times a day if I let him.  I just wish it wasn't so messy!

Doing both my "jobs" at the same time - Mommy and Division Manager

Video - She is a little talker!!

It was so hard to do but I went back to the office on July 9th.  :(  Time for the new "normal" of limited time with the kids in the evening, days filled with meetings, and pumping at work 3 times a day.  The amounts of pictures I have will now tank since I'm at the mercy of what Brittany sends me during the day.

Brittany sent me this pic - - Emmalyn was doing fine at home without me. (She's such a pro with that tummy time!)

I had prepped Maxwell days ahead of it so he did okay with me going to work.  I cried at home but not at work, so that was good.  The worst part is just that I am so tired!!

Aunt Brittany seems to be having fun dressing Emmalyn each day - she's always so cute with bows in her hair.

Brittany was super mom and took all 4 kids to the splash pad.  She's super awesome.

Hanging out at the splash pad with all the boys.

It was "7/11" so of course you have to have a slurpee!

I was thrilled when I made it to the weekend.  It was nice that I went back to work on Wednesday, so the weekend came quickly.  While it was sort of nice to be back at work it was also hard.  I have self-imposed a 12 week rule.  I did this with Max too.  I recognize that it's hard to leave your kids and go back to work.  It's tempting to think about quitting.  But I figure that I spent 12 weeks at home with the new baby and at the beginning of that time, I wanted to "quit" being at home and go back to work.  So, when I go back to work I have to work at least 12 weeks (the same time that I spent at home) before I can make a decision to quit.  I don't want to make a knee-jerk decision but it helps to know that I CAN make that decision once I hit that 12 weeks.  Peter and I continue to structure our lives that we could make it work on one salary if we had to with minor lifestyle changes.  So staying home IS an option but I know that I get a lot of fulfillment and joy from my job.  So any major decision like that has to wait until I can see beyond the emotional haze.

It was nice to spend time with Max at Kindermusik.  He even sat away from me and ALMOST on the blanket for story time.

Our dear friends, John and Jessica are moving back "home" to Minnesota.  They have been great friends to us in Texas.  We are going to miss them and their girls dreadfully.  :(  This was at their going away party.

Max is doing AMAZING at swimming lessons.  I'm really proud of him.  He's really catching on.

He is sometimes a pill though.  He seems to being saying "no" a lot lately and threw a tantrum this week, which isn't something he usually does.

Emmalyn is a little jabber monkey and talking all the time.  

It looks like she might have little blonde hairs coming in, might I have a little blonde baby??

She has started sucking on her hand.

We are turning on the white noise for Emmalyn at night and it seems to work for her like it did for Maxwell.

She likes being on her play mat!

Her typical routine is sleep, eat, then play.  

When we lay her down at night we put her down in her crib still awake and she will fall asleep on her own.  If I am laying her down after nursing, she will go to sleep without the binkie BUT I have to leave my nightstand lamp on until she is fully asleep.  If I turn if off when she's awake, she freaks out.  

The routine is much different when we are trying to get her down during the day.  During the day, she MUST have her binkie.  If we lay her down in her crib she rarely sleeps for long and she has to be fully asleep before laying her down.  

Hello October!

Wahoo!  It's October!  Holiday season starts up this month.  Should be a fun month!  Here's how October's first few days went...

Max was on our bed and reached for Peter's iPhone which was on the nightstand.  When he reached, his hand slipped off the nightstand and he fell off the bed.  I lunged for him and caught him before he fell to the ground however his cheek hit the edge of the nightstand when his hand slipped.  He gave himself this nice purple bruise on his cheek.  I felt awful.  I know he's a BOY and he's going to get banged up but I'll be honest, knowing this doesn't make it any easier.  I am in for a rough ride when he truly gets hurt (like stitches/casts/emergency room visits, etc.)!

Still working on getting things to balance on his head.  This time it was a diaper wipe.  I could post another video but since I already posted one like this, I'll spare you. :)

Things about Max on October 1-

• He's really a chatterbox lately
• He is walking lots and getting faster at it and if he falls/sits down he will now work to get back up
• He likes when I sing "If you are happy and you know it clap your hands" and will sometimes clap his hands.  His favorite verse if "If you are happy and you know it, stick out your tongue" and he points to his tongue while sticking it out
• He gives kisses (most of them are big, wide, open mouth kisses)
• He says "pleases (peez)", "yes" (ehs) and "more" (moh)
• He will wrestle with you
• If you hand him a washcloth or wipe, he will wipe his face and nose when you ask him to
• He knows where his tongue is and will point to it.  He likes to stick out his tongue.
• He can make the "th" sound
• He's sneaky and will go into the pantry or diaper bag for a snack when he wants it
• His favorite animal sound right now is the sound a bee makes (bzzzz) but his version is more just the zzzz
• His drool continues to flow freely.  :)

Sleeping pic:  He fell asleep with his hand on the side of the pack-n-play.  It's almost like he saying, please let me out of this cage.

Sleeping pic:  In the swing at Brittany's during my lunch visit.  He's getting so big!  She doesn't have it swing anymore.  He falls asleep with it just like this and he still wants to be swaddled when he's in it.

Landen and Max are friends but friends also fight sometimes.  And these two boys are starting to do that as well.  They are becoming boys not babies.  In this pic, Landen doesn't want Max to play with the scooter.

The fights don't last long.  Later, they were sharing a snack.

Video - An update on how Max's improvement in walking.

Max has finally noticed the stairs.  He just didn't care much to this point, I am grateful that it lasted as long as it did (we've been in the house about 5 weeks).

Video - Not only did Max figure out how to go up the stairs but also how to come down (Peter told me later that he had showed him once when I wasn't around).  Good job listening to your Momma, Max!

Max is coming to get you - Rawr!

Sad face.

Video - This video shows so many fun things about Max.  His cute little walk, his funny crawl, his personality even his frustration/anger when he can't close the doors like he wants to. 

This is his, "I'm watching to see what is going to happen" face.

Some things about Max on October 4-

• He hates being put in the car seat lately and FIGHTS it by arching his back and squirming.  So frustrating.  I know I could probably move to the next level of car seat versus the infant carrier in the base but since he's still so little I am sticking with it.  Although when he's throwing his fit I wonder to myself if it would be less hassle to get him in the bigger car seat.
• He has the "high five" slap down!
• He sort of gives hugs/loves
• Does not want to share toys with Landen recently.
• Since Max was born, each night before bed (and other times during the day) I have a specific way that I give him kisses that is special to just us.  I go "momma loves you here" and kiss his right cheek, "momma loves you here" and kiss his left cheek, "momma loves you here" and kiss his nose, "and momma loves you here" and kiss his lips.  I do it every day with him.  There was a period of time when he didn't like it and squirmed but I still did it.  Well, tonight he gave me one of those moments when your child does something that causes your heart to be touched in such a sweet way that you want to hold onto that moment forever.  When I was giving him his kisses and got to his nose, he tilted his head up so I could kiss his nose and then moved it back down so I could kiss his lips.  It was the sweetest thing to me because it showed that he knew the routine and WANTED the kisses from his momma.         Love this boy.  Love this boy.  Love this boy.   That little action from him took this routine from being something I do to show him love every night to a sweet tender moment that we now SHARE each night.

I still don't completely feel like a mom or always believe that I actually have a child.  It's surreal partly because for so long we questioned whether it would ever happen.  Regardless, I count my blessings that this little spirit gets to be in my life.  And not only is he in my life but he is mine.  I get to be with him every day.  I get to have that special relationship of mother/child with him.  Now that my mom is gone I have a greater appreciation for how special and meaningful that relationship is.  He only has one mom.  That's me and no one else will ever take that spot.  Friends/girlfriends/etc will come and go.  He may (Hopefully someday) have multiple siblings.  He has lots of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc.  He may have other mother figures like a mother-in-law.  But still will only have one mom. 

I want to live my life so that he treasures that relationship as much as I do.  I don't want to ever fail him.  I want to be his safe place.  The "bigness" of this scares me because I KNOW I am not perfect.  I have seen the harm and hurt and hole that exists when the relationship with one's mother becomes estranged.  I am aware that I can't control the future, I can only control today.  So I work to not sweat the small stuff, to keep this goal top of mind in my actions, to remember moments like this sweet experience when I get frustrated, overwhelmed, or grumpy.  Being a mom Being a good mom is going to require more than my "A" game.  Maxwell deserves it.

Peter is itching to get started on his media room.  The first step was to figure out how big he wanted the screen.

Another sleeping pic

Looking at himself in my cell phone is always entertaining.

Hello dimple!

Maxwell's hair was getting long and needed to be cut as you can see.  We were playing outside on a windy day.

Playing on dad's guitar

Video - Max jabbering and playing with the keyboard - lots of buttons!