The rest of the hospital stay...

The rest of the hospital visit was fantastic.  I feel truly blessed to have been able to deliver at such a great facility as Baylor Medical Center Frisco.  The nursing staff was all top notch.  Everyone was so friendly, helpful, and gave such quality information to help us.  Kimberly made the comment that I got more helpful information from one nurse at the start of her shift than she did the entire time she was in the hospital with either of her kids.

This is a video from right after Max was born and we were moved into the recovery room.  (I must have been really worn out because my voice is extremely husky.)

Here's another video from the recovery room so you can enjoy his sweet newborn baby cry. The hissing you hear is my version of laughing since actual laughing really hurt at that point.

Max stayed in our room the entire first 24 hours.  The nurse came to our room and gave him his first bath right there so we could watch and gave us great tips for when we bathe him at home.  

Max getting his first bath

First bath - what a little body!

All calm after the first bath

Being calm while being burped

Peter changing his first diaper

I mentioned this in my previous post, but we kept Max with us that entire first night.  I still had my epidural so Peter had to get up and give me the baby in order to nurse and then had to put him back in his bassinet to sleep as well as changed all his diapers.

This is Peter getting to put his swaddling skills to use. Not too bad for the first time. :) He's an expert now at the tight swaddle. 

We didn't get much sleep that first night but I think I was still running on endorphins so I didn't feel too wiped out.  Things still hadn't really set in.  I couldn't believe that the pregnancy was over and we made it through labor and delivery!  After one feeding that night we stayed awake when we should have been sleeping talking about all the things we wanted for our son, the things we were going to teach him, and what kind of man we were going to help him become.

Swaddled and sleeping

All the stats - this is before we officially decided on his name on Saturday

We made it through the first night



Max

You'll see I have many pictures of Peter and Max.  I absolutely love seeing Peter holding Max and helping take care of him.  From the moment Max was born, Peter was in love with Max.  He doted over his baby and how cute he was.  He told Max how much he loved him.  He kissed him and held him.  He did skin-to-skin with Max as well.  He immediately was a dad - a great dad!

Chubby cheeks



Pulling faces while being burped

Burping was one of my favorite times because Max would be wide awake.

We had a few visitors at the hospital -  Kimberly, Brittany, and Joe of course.  On Saturday, my old boss and friend from work, Lori, came to visit with her daughter and also brought me flowers.  Then on Sunday my co-worker Jana and her husband visited and Peter's co-worker Andrea and her husband and daughter visited.  It was nice to have our friends want to come visit us at the hospital and be excited for us.

Uncle Joe with Max

Joe got a chance to practice his shhhhhing skills with Max and saw that it works!

Uncle Joe, Aunt Brittany, and Max

They were going to take my epidural out around noon on the morning following the delivery but I was still feeling some pain so I asked if it could be left in a little longer.  They let me have it until 5 that evening.  I wish I could have had it even longer.  :)  Getting up and moving around was tough.  I thought I'd be able to move quicker than I really could.  Between showering that night and getting up to use the restroom, I pushed myself too hard and really paid the price with soreness that night. 

The next morning Kimberly and I took Max and made my first venture out of my hospital room.  We made it up and down the hallway once.  I had to basically shuffle my feet and move at the pace of a turtle.  I know I had major surgery just 36 hours earlier but man, I wasn't prepared for how limited my movements were or how sore my incision was.  I was on top of exactly when I took my pain meds so that I would know exactly when I could request having the next round of them.

Ready to go on our first (very slow) walk into the hallways

I was on a liquid only diet for what seemed like forever.  It stunk to watch Peter eat these great meals provided for the hospital, which had great food!  I had my first "solid" meal on Saturday night before I technically had my nurses approval.  I was so hungry for something real, so Kimberly picked up In-n-Out burgers and brought it to us for a late night snack.  :)

Daddy Peter and his son

Some awesome things about the hospital:

• They had a video camera set up in each room so that the nurses could monitor how we were doing.  This came in really handy the second night.  Kimberly stayed with me that night so that Peter could go home and get a full nights sleep (the night I went into labor he only had 1 hr sleep and then the night after I delivered he probably only had 4 hrs).  We were both pretty tired and the nurses could tell.  We sent Max to the nursery that night so we could get some sleep and then the nurses would bring Max to me when it was time to feed.  One of the times, they noticed that I had finally fallen into a deep sleep via the camera so they held off on bringing Max to me for an extra hour in order to let me get some more sleep. 
• We could have used that same system as a web cam to allow family members to see us in the hospital room.  I kept thinking how much my mom would have loved that.  We didn't end up using the system but we did Skype with Brittany and Joe on Saturday night.
• They gave us an embroidered receiving blanket (very soft) for Max.
• They had an extra meal that second day that they gave to Kimberly even though they should have only had 1 for Peter.
• There was a snack room with snacks and drinks that Peter could access whenever he wanted.
• We were visited by a lactation specialist everyday and when I had a bunch of questions and wanted some feedback, the specialist watched the entire feeding and was so helpful! (This is a service that continues after I leave the hospital - complimentary access to the lactation specialists.)
• I never felt judged, only felt helped and supported by the nursing staff.
• They provided a "celebration dinner" of lobster and steak, and an amazing slice of chocolate cake for Peter and I the night before we went home.  I opted for steak and chicken instead.  We had the nursery take the baby while we ate so that Peter and I could have a "date" and reconnect, just the two of us.  It was great to be able to take an hour without being interrupted by nurses or nursing or visitors and just talk to my husband.

My awesome celebration dinner (steak and chicken)

Peter with his steak and lobster

I love the pictures that show how little Max is compared to Peter.  :)



Aw, my baby

We had planned on going home Monday morning.  When my doctor came to visit that morning, she said that I could stay an extra night if I liked.  I LOVED my stay at the hospital and really didn't want to go home but I couldn't see any point in delaying the inevitable so I said that the extra night wasn't needed.  I now regret that decision, I should have taken every last minute at the hospital that I could.  :)

It was a busy morning that Monday.  Max got a visit for the first time from the Dr who would be his actual pediatrician.  We hadn't decided on a pediatrician and had set up an appt with this Dr. to meet her in her office for a consultation on Monday.  Well, when Max decided to show up early that changed our plans so instead we just had our consultation in the hospital with the baby already here.  :)

Max was supposed to be circumcised this morning however when he was born someone thought he might have a condition called hypospadias.  My doctor would have normally performed the circ. but because of this potential condition she wouldn't do it and said we would need to take him to a pediatric urologist.

Max had a hearing test and did great.  The hearing test was really interesting.  They monitored his brainwaves to determine how good his hearing was.  He did great and got 100% - my smart boy Ace'd his first test.  :)

Max getting his hearing test

Kimberly and Kaity came to the hospital and helped us get ready to go.  Kaitlyn was so cute with Maxwell.

All buckled in and ready to go home - so tiny!

Me, Peter, and Max on our way out of the hospital

All the stuff we took out to the car - how did it get to be so much???

And we're out!  Yikes, now I have to do this mothering thing for real without being surrounded by experts.

 

More to come!

I have lots that I want to blog about so please be patient with me.  I have found that it's a struggle to find time to blog when my limited "free time" goes to other things like sleeping, eating, showering, folding baby clothes, and maybe tidying up.  So, there is more on the way. 

It takes time to sort through the hundreds (literally) of pictures Peter and I have taken of this new sweet Maxwell.  Plus then I have to decide which videos I want to post. And then I have to write something as well. 

Feel free to scroll past the multitudes of pictures or ignore the many minutes of video that are now going to populate this blog.  In the age of digital pictures, I don't print out any pictures anymore or have a photo album so this blog is the one place that I can use to highlight the pictures that are special to me.  And I post videos that I want to go back and watch again.  I hope you enjoy some of this but I don't expect you to enjoy it all.  But since the first purpose of this blog is as a journal, I'm sure you'll cut me some slack.  :)

Maxwell Charles Millar arrives!

Here's the full story of how our lives changed forever!

On Thursday night (August 18th) my sister Kimberly flew in from Vegas to spend some time with both Brittany and I and hopefully to see the new baby. When she originally booked her tickets, Peter and I reminded her that she was coming and leaving before he was due so there was a chance that she wouldn't get a chance to see him while she was her. On Thursday night we all had dinner at Brittany's house and joked about how he could come now that she was here. In fact, Kimberly wanted him to come the very next day - Friday.  

Here is the "before" picture - We took this on Thursday night

Well, Kimberly must have some pull with someone very important because that's exactly what happened! At about 2 am that night (Thursday night) I started having some serious contractions and they didn't let up. So Peter and I started timing them and paying attention to their intensity. At 5 am they really picked up. I continued like that until about 8 am when I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to call my doctor or go to the hospital too soon because I didn't want to get sent back home because I wasn't far enough and I also didn't want to get told that I was only having Braxton Hicks contractions (if this wasn't REAL labor...how in the world would I be able to cope with REAL labor?!?!) So at 8 I called my Dr. and she told us to go to the hospital. We got ready at home (which goes pretty slow when you have to stop frequently to breathe through a contraction) at got to the hospital at around 9 am.

Right before we left for the hospital

They admitted us and brought us back to a room where they started my IV at around 10:30 am. At this point they checked me and I was 100% effaced and 4 cm dilated. I was certainly in labor. I was honestly scared/nervous the entire process. (I had a minor breakdown at home about not wanting to go to the hospital and having to deliver the baby.)  I was worried about getting my IV but I made it through that.


Made it through getting the IV!

Then they took me into a labor/delivery room. The room was a private, large room that was really nice. At about 10:30 am I got my epidural (was 5 cm dilated) and I was really scared about that but I made it through. Once I got the epidural, things were much better. I was able to calm down, the pain went away, and I was a much happier person. I didn't think it would make that big of a difference, but it did!  

See how much calmer I looked thanks to the epidural?

The contractions continued but slowed a little so they gave me a little Pitocin to help things continue progressing. I spent my time chatting with Peter and checking work email. (It is going to be so hard to not work! I had planned on working on Friday so there were still a few things I had to get out to my team before I went out on maternity leave.) Around 11:30 I noticed that I had a voicemail on my phone from an 801 area code (Utah). I figured it was probably a family member who had heard I was in labor. When I checked the voicemail, it was a gentleman from the funeral home saying that mom's headstone had been placed that day. At first the voicemail really upset me because I felt like it was just a reminder of my loss at a time when I should have been focused on the new addition that was coming into my life. However, as I thought it over the next day without the haze of labor/emotions/drugs clouding my thinking, I have changed how I feel about the voicemail. I now really believe that was my mom's way of using whatever means she could to remind me that she was still there with us in spirit and was thinking of me. We had only ordered her headstone 2 weeks earlier and when we ordered it were told it would take 5 to 8 weeks to order, make, and put in place. So what are the chances that it would be done so early AND that I would receive that call exactly in the short window when I was in labor??? We think Mom was behind it.

At around 1 pm my doctor came in and I was dilated to a 6 and she broke my water to help the labor progress. After that the contractions picked up to a point where I had to breathe through them again (thank goodness for the ability to increase the epidural!). Kimberly and Brittany showed up right after they broke my water. They couldn't both be there at the same time because someone had to watch their kids so Brittany came in for awhile and then Kimberly came in and Brittany took all the kids home.  Brittany was so nice to watch Kimber's kids so that she could be there with me for basically the rest of the day.  It was so nice and comforting to have Kimberly there for support. I had a great support system between her and Peter. The medical staff were having a hard time monitoring the baby along with the contractions so they placed some internal sensors to monitor both and thus better administer the Pitocin. At one point the baby’s heart beat was dropping so they came in to have me adjust my position and in the process of me moving, I pulled out the IV and blood started running down my arm. That was an intense moment as the nurses/doctors worked to both stabilize the baby’s heartbeat, stop my bleeding, and get another IV in. Glad I didn’t have another  moment like that.   After everything calmed back down the nurse said that at least at the end of this, I'd get a prize.  Since I had just been pricked again to do the second IV, that's where my mind was and I said, "what, another bruise?"  She laughed and said "no, a baby."  That gives you an idea of my train of thought.  I was really just in the moment and wasn't thinking too far ahead.  :)

I had to have some oxygen to help the baby recover better between contractions



Peter enjoying his lunch while I watched and enjoyed some ice chips.  The hospital took great care of both of us.



Brittany and I

Kimberly and I

Things basically went the way they had been going for the next 3 hours. At 5:00 p.m. my doctor came to visit again and I was still at a 5-6 and hadn’t progressed any further. She told me that not only had I not progressed but that my cervix was starting to get swollen and so was the baby’s head. Which means we were moving in the wrong direction. She said that it was her belief that either the baby was too big to come out or I was too small for him to come out but either way, she didn’t believe he could come out naturally. She said that she was all for letting moms labor as long as they wanted before suggesting C-section but at this point her recommendation was a C-section.  (Ironic note - I joked earlier with my nurses and Kimberly about how I was the best sister because Kimberly and Brittany both had to have c-sections for their kids and I was going to be able to have a vaginal birth for mine.  Guess not!) I was caught a little off guard but didn’t feel a major loss at not being able to deliver vaginally. It was something I wanted but I’ve always been open to whatever was needed in the best interest of the baby. So I said, let’s do the C-section. I was incredibly nervous (to the point of wanting to throw up) about the C-section. I tried to calm myself by thinking that at least this way, I didn’t have to do any more work – it was all up to other people. Whereas if I stuck with the natural way, all the work would be up to me. To be fair, I was terrified of either way. Truly terrified.

Once the decision was made to do C-section everything moved quickly. The anesthesiologist gave me more meds in my epidural, Peter got dressed in scrubs, and I was moved into the C-section surgery room. Kimberly was unable to stay with me at this point and went to Brittany’s until we were out of recovery and called her to come back. 

Here's me right before surgery

I shook uncontrollably the entire surgery thanks to the medicine, my nerves, and the freezing cold surgery room. It took all my focus to stay calm despite the shaking and chattering of my teeth. It was not fun at all. Peter was great and remained calm and was supportive of me. So the surgery progressed with no problem and soon they were pulling the baby out (Peter watched!) and I was hearing him cry. It was such a sweet cry and brought tears to my eyes. I am such a silly girl, I said “It’s a baby, not a turtle!” (Throughout my pregnancy I would joke that I hope it was a baby in there and not a turtle.) Dr. Boyd held him up so I could see him before they got him completely cleaned off and I remember looking at his feet and thinking how small they were.  

Here's Dr. Boyd holding up the baby so I could see him

They then took the baby to clean him up and Peter got to watch as they measured him, checked him out, and cleaned him up. Before he was born everyone in the room was making bets on how big he’d be and I was closest with a guess of 6 lbs 12 oz. He was 6 lbs 15 oz, 19 inches long, born at 5:24 pm on August 19, 2011. They took his footprints and even put his footprints on the shirt of Peter’s scrubs as a souvenir for us (I think this is an awesome extra touch).

Baby Boy Millar at 7 minutes old

After he was cleaned up Peter brought him over so I could see him. I gave him a kiss but when Peter asked me if I wanted to hold him, I said no because I was shaking so badly I didn’t feel like I could. So Peter held him while they worked on closing me back up. The anesthesiologist gave me something to help me calm down/relax while they finished the surgery and that helped a little bit but made me feel a little hazy. I remember having to keep my eyes closed basically the entire time because I was so focused on trying to stop the shaking or at least not bite my tongue or cheeks.

My first picture with my son



Isn't he a beautiful baby with the sweetest lips?

After they finished surgery, we were taken into a recovery room. I breastfed the baby for the first time and then we did skin to skin. He was so cute and little! Throughout the day we were asked what the baby’s name was and had to answer that we didn’t know. The nurse in recovery asked about what names we were thinking of. So we first mentioned Maxwell and she said she had a 19 year old son named Maxwell who really loved his name. Then we said Nicolas and she said she also had a son named Nicolas! Then we said Evan and Collin. She didn’t have sons with those names but I thought it was crazy that she had a son with both mine and Peter’s top names. We didn’t quite decide to name him Max at that point but hearing her feedback about how her own son Maxwell felt about his name sure helped.

Mom and son in the recovery room

Dad and son in the recovery room (note the footprints on Peter's scrubs)

Our first picture as a family

Look how small he is compared to Peter's hand

I really feel that my mom had something to do with the timing of me going into labor.  It was 11 days before my due date and at my last Dr's visit, my Dr. felt that I would go all the way to my due date.  But instead, I went into labor less than 12 hours after Kimberly got to town.  The timing of that allowed me to have Kimberly's help the entire time of her visit.  She was so very very helpful to me not only when I was in labor but also in the following days that I was in the hospital and then once I got home as well.  I think my mom had some influence in the timing so that I would be able to get the help that I needed and that she now isn't able to give.  I couldn't have done it without Kimberly and then also Brittany, who watched Kimberly's kids so that Kimberly could be with me.  I am so lucky to have such great sisters!

After recovery they took me to my room and that was about 8 or 9 pm.  It had been a long day!  The baby stayed with us the entire time.  Kimberly and Brittany came back to see him and visit and we started spreading the word that the baby had finally arrived.  Breastfeeding continued to go well (So glad we did that breastfeeding class!!!).  We kept the baby with us that night which ended up being very stressful because he still had some fluid in his systems that he would choke on and I would jerk awake at any little noise from him and worry that he was going to stop breathing.  But, we made it through!  It was a very sleepless night.  Because I was confined to bed (I still had my epidural), Peter had to change every diaper and had to hand me the baby for each feeding.  It was great!

Aunt Brittany and Max

Aunt Kimberly and Max

Surprise! It's a baby shower!

 Have I mentioned how great the company Peter works for is?  Masterlink is a small company and has been a great place for Peter to work.  It is a great group of employees and they really value Peter and the skills he brings.  So I wasn't completely surprised when his co-worker Andrea called me and said that they were going to throw Peter a surprise baby shower and would like me to come too.  It ended up being held 2 days before Max was born (at the time I didn't think we were cutting it close).  It was a really nice party and I am so grateful for the support, friendship, and generosity that was shown to us.

The cute sign custom designed for the occasion

Decorations

The view of the room - I loved the stuff hanging from the ceiling

 When I arrived they snuck me into the office and had Peter distracted so he wouldn't know I was there.  They really wanted to surprise him. :)  After everyone gathered in the conference room, they brought Peter in and he was totally shocked.  It took him a second to register what was going on and what I was doing there.  GOTCHA!  It was great!

SURPRISE!!!!

 First we all had lunch - lasagna, breadsticks, salad, and drinks. 

Nearly the whole group

Me and Peter (looking back, I really should have spent more time getting myself ready that day knowing that I was going to a party for Peter however at the time felt like I had gone the extra mile by putting on makeup)

 After lunch, Andrea said we were going to play a game.  Inside, I groaned.  But it ended up being great.  She was going to quiz Peter on a bunch of baby things and we each guessed how many questions he would get correct.  I figured he'd know half and said he'd get 8 out of 15 questions correct.  He ended up getting 13 out of 15!  He did great and showed that he was ready to be a daddy.

Here's Peter showing his diapering skills while being timed.

This is Peter impressing the group with his swaddling skills.

 It was quite impressive to see how much Peter had picked up from the reading he'd been doing and the classes we attended.  If he'd been quizzed like that 2 months earlier, I doubt his score would have been so good.  After the game, Peter opened presents.  I was touched by how generous everyone was.  We received some really nice (and a few quite expensive) things that will be so useful.  Peter must be really loved by his co-workers.

The present table

Peter showing how a toy can captivate an adult, too

After presents, we enjoyed dessert - cheesecake!  It was a really nice party and super generous of Masterlink considering they decorated, provided lunch, let everyone be at the party and not working for 2 hours.  Quite a few of them also expressed condolences over my mom's death which was so thoughtful.  I am extremely grateful that Peter found this quality company to work for that really embraces and supports him.

That night we went to our Infant Safety and CPR class - the classes we have been taking at the hospital have all been so informative and helpful!  I am grateful for the many classes that we were able to participate in.