Maxwell Charles Millar arrives!

Here's the full story of how our lives changed forever!

On Thursday night (August 18th) my sister Kimberly flew in from Vegas to spend some time with both Brittany and I and hopefully to see the new baby. When she originally booked her tickets, Peter and I reminded her that she was coming and leaving before he was due so there was a chance that she wouldn't get a chance to see him while she was her. On Thursday night we all had dinner at Brittany's house and joked about how he could come now that she was here. In fact, Kimberly wanted him to come the very next day - Friday.  

Here is the "before" picture - We took this on Thursday night

Well, Kimberly must have some pull with someone very important because that's exactly what happened! At about 2 am that night (Thursday night) I started having some serious contractions and they didn't let up. So Peter and I started timing them and paying attention to their intensity. At 5 am they really picked up. I continued like that until about 8 am when I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to call my doctor or go to the hospital too soon because I didn't want to get sent back home because I wasn't far enough and I also didn't want to get told that I was only having Braxton Hicks contractions (if this wasn't REAL labor...how in the world would I be able to cope with REAL labor?!?!) So at 8 I called my Dr. and she told us to go to the hospital. We got ready at home (which goes pretty slow when you have to stop frequently to breathe through a contraction) at got to the hospital at around 9 am.

Right before we left for the hospital

They admitted us and brought us back to a room where they started my IV at around 10:30 am. At this point they checked me and I was 100% effaced and 4 cm dilated. I was certainly in labor. I was honestly scared/nervous the entire process. (I had a minor breakdown at home about not wanting to go to the hospital and having to deliver the baby.)  I was worried about getting my IV but I made it through that.


Made it through getting the IV!

Then they took me into a labor/delivery room. The room was a private, large room that was really nice. At about 10:30 am I got my epidural (was 5 cm dilated) and I was really scared about that but I made it through. Once I got the epidural, things were much better. I was able to calm down, the pain went away, and I was a much happier person. I didn't think it would make that big of a difference, but it did!  

See how much calmer I looked thanks to the epidural?

The contractions continued but slowed a little so they gave me a little Pitocin to help things continue progressing. I spent my time chatting with Peter and checking work email. (It is going to be so hard to not work! I had planned on working on Friday so there were still a few things I had to get out to my team before I went out on maternity leave.) Around 11:30 I noticed that I had a voicemail on my phone from an 801 area code (Utah). I figured it was probably a family member who had heard I was in labor. When I checked the voicemail, it was a gentleman from the funeral home saying that mom's headstone had been placed that day. At first the voicemail really upset me because I felt like it was just a reminder of my loss at a time when I should have been focused on the new addition that was coming into my life. However, as I thought it over the next day without the haze of labor/emotions/drugs clouding my thinking, I have changed how I feel about the voicemail. I now really believe that was my mom's way of using whatever means she could to remind me that she was still there with us in spirit and was thinking of me. We had only ordered her headstone 2 weeks earlier and when we ordered it were told it would take 5 to 8 weeks to order, make, and put in place. So what are the chances that it would be done so early AND that I would receive that call exactly in the short window when I was in labor??? We think Mom was behind it.

At around 1 pm my doctor came in and I was dilated to a 6 and she broke my water to help the labor progress. After that the contractions picked up to a point where I had to breathe through them again (thank goodness for the ability to increase the epidural!). Kimberly and Brittany showed up right after they broke my water. They couldn't both be there at the same time because someone had to watch their kids so Brittany came in for awhile and then Kimberly came in and Brittany took all the kids home.  Brittany was so nice to watch Kimber's kids so that she could be there with me for basically the rest of the day.  It was so nice and comforting to have Kimberly there for support. I had a great support system between her and Peter. The medical staff were having a hard time monitoring the baby along with the contractions so they placed some internal sensors to monitor both and thus better administer the Pitocin. At one point the baby’s heart beat was dropping so they came in to have me adjust my position and in the process of me moving, I pulled out the IV and blood started running down my arm. That was an intense moment as the nurses/doctors worked to both stabilize the baby’s heartbeat, stop my bleeding, and get another IV in. Glad I didn’t have another  moment like that.   After everything calmed back down the nurse said that at least at the end of this, I'd get a prize.  Since I had just been pricked again to do the second IV, that's where my mind was and I said, "what, another bruise?"  She laughed and said "no, a baby."  That gives you an idea of my train of thought.  I was really just in the moment and wasn't thinking too far ahead.  :)

I had to have some oxygen to help the baby recover better between contractions



Peter enjoying his lunch while I watched and enjoyed some ice chips.  The hospital took great care of both of us.



Brittany and I

Kimberly and I

Things basically went the way they had been going for the next 3 hours. At 5:00 p.m. my doctor came to visit again and I was still at a 5-6 and hadn’t progressed any further. She told me that not only had I not progressed but that my cervix was starting to get swollen and so was the baby’s head. Which means we were moving in the wrong direction. She said that it was her belief that either the baby was too big to come out or I was too small for him to come out but either way, she didn’t believe he could come out naturally. She said that she was all for letting moms labor as long as they wanted before suggesting C-section but at this point her recommendation was a C-section.  (Ironic note - I joked earlier with my nurses and Kimberly about how I was the best sister because Kimberly and Brittany both had to have c-sections for their kids and I was going to be able to have a vaginal birth for mine.  Guess not!) I was caught a little off guard but didn’t feel a major loss at not being able to deliver vaginally. It was something I wanted but I’ve always been open to whatever was needed in the best interest of the baby. So I said, let’s do the C-section. I was incredibly nervous (to the point of wanting to throw up) about the C-section. I tried to calm myself by thinking that at least this way, I didn’t have to do any more work – it was all up to other people. Whereas if I stuck with the natural way, all the work would be up to me. To be fair, I was terrified of either way. Truly terrified.

Once the decision was made to do C-section everything moved quickly. The anesthesiologist gave me more meds in my epidural, Peter got dressed in scrubs, and I was moved into the C-section surgery room. Kimberly was unable to stay with me at this point and went to Brittany’s until we were out of recovery and called her to come back. 

Here's me right before surgery

I shook uncontrollably the entire surgery thanks to the medicine, my nerves, and the freezing cold surgery room. It took all my focus to stay calm despite the shaking and chattering of my teeth. It was not fun at all. Peter was great and remained calm and was supportive of me. So the surgery progressed with no problem and soon they were pulling the baby out (Peter watched!) and I was hearing him cry. It was such a sweet cry and brought tears to my eyes. I am such a silly girl, I said “It’s a baby, not a turtle!” (Throughout my pregnancy I would joke that I hope it was a baby in there and not a turtle.) Dr. Boyd held him up so I could see him before they got him completely cleaned off and I remember looking at his feet and thinking how small they were.  

Here's Dr. Boyd holding up the baby so I could see him

They then took the baby to clean him up and Peter got to watch as they measured him, checked him out, and cleaned him up. Before he was born everyone in the room was making bets on how big he’d be and I was closest with a guess of 6 lbs 12 oz. He was 6 lbs 15 oz, 19 inches long, born at 5:24 pm on August 19, 2011. They took his footprints and even put his footprints on the shirt of Peter’s scrubs as a souvenir for us (I think this is an awesome extra touch).

Baby Boy Millar at 7 minutes old

After he was cleaned up Peter brought him over so I could see him. I gave him a kiss but when Peter asked me if I wanted to hold him, I said no because I was shaking so badly I didn’t feel like I could. So Peter held him while they worked on closing me back up. The anesthesiologist gave me something to help me calm down/relax while they finished the surgery and that helped a little bit but made me feel a little hazy. I remember having to keep my eyes closed basically the entire time because I was so focused on trying to stop the shaking or at least not bite my tongue or cheeks.

My first picture with my son



Isn't he a beautiful baby with the sweetest lips?

After they finished surgery, we were taken into a recovery room. I breastfed the baby for the first time and then we did skin to skin. He was so cute and little! Throughout the day we were asked what the baby’s name was and had to answer that we didn’t know. The nurse in recovery asked about what names we were thinking of. So we first mentioned Maxwell and she said she had a 19 year old son named Maxwell who really loved his name. Then we said Nicolas and she said she also had a son named Nicolas! Then we said Evan and Collin. She didn’t have sons with those names but I thought it was crazy that she had a son with both mine and Peter’s top names. We didn’t quite decide to name him Max at that point but hearing her feedback about how her own son Maxwell felt about his name sure helped.

Mom and son in the recovery room

Dad and son in the recovery room (note the footprints on Peter's scrubs)

Our first picture as a family

Look how small he is compared to Peter's hand

I really feel that my mom had something to do with the timing of me going into labor.  It was 11 days before my due date and at my last Dr's visit, my Dr. felt that I would go all the way to my due date.  But instead, I went into labor less than 12 hours after Kimberly got to town.  The timing of that allowed me to have Kimberly's help the entire time of her visit.  She was so very very helpful to me not only when I was in labor but also in the following days that I was in the hospital and then once I got home as well.  I think my mom had some influence in the timing so that I would be able to get the help that I needed and that she now isn't able to give.  I couldn't have done it without Kimberly and then also Brittany, who watched Kimberly's kids so that Kimberly could be with me.  I am so lucky to have such great sisters!

After recovery they took me to my room and that was about 8 or 9 pm.  It had been a long day!  The baby stayed with us the entire time.  Kimberly and Brittany came back to see him and visit and we started spreading the word that the baby had finally arrived.  Breastfeeding continued to go well (So glad we did that breastfeeding class!!!).  We kept the baby with us that night which ended up being very stressful because he still had some fluid in his systems that he would choke on and I would jerk awake at any little noise from him and worry that he was going to stop breathing.  But, we made it through!  It was a very sleepless night.  Because I was confined to bed (I still had my epidural), Peter had to change every diaper and had to hand me the baby for each feeding.  It was great!

Aunt Brittany and Max

Aunt Kimberly and Max